Happiness is undoubtedly a very vast topic and it has already been so widely written about, that my choice of writing is about it is probably border lining on foolishness.
Nevertheless, here is my current take on it.
Happiness as an emotion is pretty much the same for all of us, but its procurement, its source, its duration vary so widely from one individual to the other that beyond a point, it becomes difficult generalising its characteristics. Every person actively or passively desires happiness. It is a very integral part of our lives and our struggle for it consumes most of our emotional energy.
You see how I used the word struggle ? That's because that is what the scenario has started to become everywhere. We often find asking ourselves, "Am I really happy?"
No! If you have to ASK this to yourself to be sure, then you're probably not, my friend!
And somewhere this is because we have set unrealistic ideals for ourselves, we exceed the limit of our own expectations. We're trying to gauge our happiness with someone else's ruler. And ironically this entire process of happiness gives us the opposite result.
Because that's how we've started looking at it.
Happiness = Result
But, my dear, every little bit of what we seek lies in the process. The result is the mere realisation of the entire process that we've been through. Just an aftertaste.
To be or not to be happy - Our quest for happiness gets so messed up at times that one could really wonder what we really are searching for.
And there are a few too many reasons for that. We often try to find happiness in places that are not meant for us. Like I said earlier, we use others' rulers to gauge ourselves. We try in ways that in no way are going to work for us. We try too hard at times in fact. And when we fail to be happy, we end up being miserable. The very process that was to get you a good result, ended up being a tragic episode in itself. And this cycle continues endlessly.
So, what to do ?
(Well I'm not an expert and in no way hold the right answers for you, but we can always try) Sometimes the best thing is to give it a rest. BREATHE. As we discussed, happiness is a process, so start looking at it like that. Start looking at things on the daily, the little things, the small moments that give you joy because they matter more than what we give them credit for. Stop TRYING so hard to be happy. Sometimes the chase actually drives us away from it. A small thing like a simple positive attitude, gratefulness, mindfulness work wonders.
You are an individual and are obviously going to have your own perspective for it. So try to find out what YOUR perspective really is. You might realise that the reason you're unhappy is because you've been looking at happiness through someone else's lens.
Try to accept the fact that being in a constant state of happiness is humanly impossible. Set realistic standards for yourself.
Lastly, try to understand that if happiness can come from the most little of things, it means that it's not a difficult thing at all! It can be very easy if we allow it to. Don't be so hard on yourself to be happy. Allow things to make you happy.
I hope this was useful for you.
Wishing you a happy day :)