The Self-doubt Demon
"Out of the million things I try to do, Half a million fall apart, Not because I do them wrong; Self - doubt never lets me start." For some people, it comes in phases, for some it is a part of their daily lives as for some it is an issue they seem to be struggling with. No matter which of these categories we fall into, we deal with self- doubt at one point or the other. Its the inability to instill confidence in ourselves. Whether its about performing a task, developing a skill, making friends, going in a different direction. There are different levels at which we come face to face with this demon. Even though we come to realise that we're unable to perform because of self-doubt, we often fail to understand what is causing this. Because, more often than not, self-doubt is a foreign seed in our brain. Sometimes its people around you, repeatedly telling you how you can't do something, or making fun of something you've given a shot. They say these things and move on without realising the impact they leave upon the person concerned. Sometimes its the repeated failure or incompletion of a certain task that we're trying to do. And sometimes its not a foreign seed. It is a make-believe theory, a notion concocted by our mind to shelter us form the cruelty or failure and its unacceptance. A notion magnified to such immense proportions that it starts to alter our sense of reality. And once we come to the realisation that it is self-doubt that we're dealing with, we hardly take any steps to get past it. We find ways around it, find alternatives. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I'm not a life-advisor and hence don't have a solid solution for these issues. My concern mainly lies with coming to terms with these issues and accepting them. Realising, that we hardly go through this alone and there are a lot of relatable people out there. As with this issue of self-doubt, I feel that there should come a time when we stay 'STOP!' and keep ourselves in check. Sometimes venting out helps. One of the best ways is to get a fresh perspective about the entire situation. We are sometimes so knee-deep in the situation that we forget what the view is from the ground. A fresh perspective can be motivating and a positive reality check. Lastly - and the solution that's most difficult to implement - there should come a point when we stop caring what people think about it. Mostly in cases where we still have faith in that task but its the influence of people that is initiating self- doubt. I completely empathise with how difficult it is to ignore the views of the ones around us, but it is essential. Deciding for yourself is important. Infact, being able to make that decision is the first step towards eliminating self-doubt! You did the first step, right? Now you can surely move ahead! Moving on from this, there is another thing I want to convey : Apart from dealing with our own issues of self doubt, it is extremely essential that we don't become catalysts for others. Not repeating negative remarks, not making fun or mockery of the things they hold close to their heart are a few ways to ensure that we don't plant this seed in someone else's brain. Don't become a self- doubter, my friend and let's not let anyone else be one either. P.S: I'm very grateful for such an amazing response to the survey I conducted for this topic.