There are days when everything is going perfectly well, there’s not a single thing that’s wrong; not a single thing that ruins the day. There are days when a lot of good stuff is happening to and around you. Everything is golden. The way it is supposed to be. And yet. You feel blue. You feel dragged down, you feel numb. There’s a weight on you. Even with everything in its own place, you feel out of place, you feel lost. You feel low.
Yes, be glad to know that you’re not the only one who feels that way, my friend.
The way reason-less joy exists, so does reason-less sorrow. A reason-less numbness that grows on you. You don’t feel happy, even if the circumstances are conducive for the same. It’s like you’re out of sync with your own self. These phases are temporary and somewhere at the back of your mind, you’re aware of that fact completely, but at that moment it’s just too hard to pull yourself together and shake yourself out of that phase. I call it the ‘Be-Low Effect’.
‘We don’t need a reason for everything we feel’ is one of my favourite lines from a song called Bulletproof Picasso by Train.
It’s something I 100% agree with at least 75% of the times because only about 50% of the times am I aware of the reasons behind my emotions which turn out to be only about 25% true. So, why stress over reasons?
What I’m trying to say here is that, whatever the way you feel, IT IS OKAY. If you feel sad when times are happy, it is okay. If the reverse happens it is okay. If we feel something which is different than what we’re SUPPOSED to feel, it is okay. Just because everything in your life is ‘on point’ does not mean that you’re supposed to be in high spirits always. It’s okay to be low when the sail is smooth.
And sometimes, it’s the guilt of not feeling the way we’re supposed to in a given phase, that pulls us down even more. Don’t get too caught up in that. It’ll only worsen your phase. These phases are temporary, and are soon overcome by us. A hobby, a good sleep, solitude, good company, a good book, good music are some of the things that cure these phases most of the times, making us realise how insignificant it really was. But these feelings, can only be realised in retrospect, so it’s necessary to go through these phases, instead of trying to avoid them.
Sometimes, they occur as a way to balance out all the energy and all the hype in your life; they bring you back to reality, they keep you grounded. They make you think about yourself. Sometimes, they occur as a way to let out all the earlier repressed emotions, making you deal with them at once. Whatever the reason might be, the necessary thing to know is that sometimes there might not even be a reason. It is necessary to know that all of us go through these phases and its okay to do so.
Let’s not get so caught up in the way we’re supposed to feel that we don’t allow ourselves the privilege of experiencing what we really feel.