This blogpost is really close to my heart as it is the most difficult one for me yet, to put out on the interwebs. I hope you do it justice, Enjoy!
Here's a sneak peek into my life:
Ever since I was in 6th standard, I've wanted to do architecture. I don't know why it stuck with me but it did. And so in the years that followed I took all the steps that led me into an architecture school. At first it was overwhelming because that was the biggest turn my life had ever taken. the course was demanding and I had endless hours of college to attend and work to complete. But as I settled into it, I realised that this was what I wanted to do even though it was so much more than I had ever imagined.
I had longed for the touch of water and had been thrown into and ocean! The ocean has two sides, on the surface its dynamic. It isn't still and is ever-changing. But in its depth, it is silent. In its belly, it has treasures waiting to be found. And that's how architecture was to me. It seemed really difficult and it didn't help that I was a very small fish in a very big pond. But through patience and practice, I found things I liked and I didn't like; things I was good and bad at. My purpose was still intact.
But third year came and things changed (as they do for most of the third year students in this course). A lot of things happened which had me doubting my purpose and more disturbingly, my own worth for it. I felt that I wasn't good enough for the course. I got into a toxic set of practices like procrastination, comparing myself to others. losing control over my emotions, jealousy and such. And that affected all areas of my life. I was no longer sure if architecture was really my purpose. This went on for most of my third year and it was really difficult to pull myself out of it. My work, my routine, my relationships, my mental health were deeply affected.
But eventually with help and support of the people around me and a lot of intentional effort to improve, things changed. They improved and I got out of that loop. Now in retrospect, I know that this was a test for my purpose. I now know with a much stronger assurance to myself that I'm on the right path. I've always enjoyed architecture. And it is what I want to do. Maybe I'll never be a really good architect or excel in this field given my set of skills, but now I know that that's not the point. The point is to keep doing what you love and find your purpose in that. When you put in the effort you will improve. The point is to not give up.
Another thing that a lot of us think is that once we start to follow our passion or set out on the right path, things are supposed to go smoothly. We take this for granted and obviously things don't go that way. And then the disappointment hits even harder. A few stumbles along the way does that mean that the path is wrong. It means that you have to hone your skills enough to not stumble upon the same challenges over and over again.
Sometimes we go through phases which make us question whether we made the right decision in life. May it be our career, relationships or other pursuits. Times are testing and life puts us through hell. However, at times, it's a test to see if we're up for the challenges we set out to achieve. And going through them gives us an enhanced sense of purpose. And all we need is a little push to know that good times lie ahead. What we really need is to look at our purpose with a fresh perspective!
I hope that this post gives you the encouragement to look at your purpose with a fresh perspective. If you have been through this or are going through it, now you know that you are not alone and that you have my support! Don't give up.