"Promote what you love, don't bash what you hate."
The author of the quote remains unknown but I'd heard Lilly Singh (more popularly known as Superwoman) use this quote in one of her videos and it stayed with me.
And the reason why it stayed with me is because of its relatability. We see and go through uncountable such scenarios in our everyday life playing both the victim and villain on occasions.
In terms of comments all of us most conveniently tend to turn towards Newton's third law that states every action must have an equal and opposite reaction.
You liked your friend's outfit, you complimented them according to the degree of your liking. Equal and opposite. Agreed.
You thought your friend's outfit was unlikeable or outrageous, you made fun of them according to the degree that YOU thought was unlikeable. Equal and opposite. Agreed as well.
But, let's not forget that Newton's third law merely applies to motion. Not social behaviour. Different laws are applicable in this behavioral world.
The point I'm trying to make here is: Sometimes if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything.
Every person is unique by the combination of their interests, capabilities and tastes. Just because one of those doesn't match with ours doesn't make theirs a bad choice. People take efforts in the way they present themselves, in their way of working, in their styles, in their interests and it's fundamental to respect them.
Respecting just the agreeable choices is not a very healthy way of social behaviour.
Also, there's a difference between critiquing and criticising or making fun of someone. When you reach out to the other person with your comments with a genuine concern for them or when they could really use your inputs, you are helping them better themselves and hence, your different perspective is welcome.
But when it's just a matter of choices and your opinion is not really going to benefit them in a very significant way, it is best to keep that opinion with ourself. Because the person is just going to get hurt and your relations would be prone to unnecessary cracks.
The highest possible levels of informality are completely understandable amongst close friends but that informality can often turn into a trend of leg-pulling and negative comments. When this becomes a habit, we could be causing considerable discomfort to the other person's mental health. And these issues are not light. We have no clue of what people are going through based on their outward behaviour. And people will especially hide their situations if they are becoming the constant targets of hate comments and negativity.
It's therefore essential to reflect on the way we behave, not just with acquaintances but even our close friends to understand if we're behaving in a harmless manner. Let's put hate behind and let's create an environment of support and care.
Because support and encouragement works like water and soil to saplings. A little consideration for others feelings goes a long way. Believe me.
This is a vast topic and there's so much I wish to write but I'll pause here before this gets too long. If you wish to read more about this topic, reach out and I'll be sure to write a few more posts about it.
Let's make a change within and see how the world around us changes.
Hope you have a great day! Cheers!