Are you listening ?

Hello dear reader !

While my hunt for topics that would be blog-relevant was on, I repeatedly came across the topic of 'listening'. It has always been a big topic for me to over-think about so that's what I shall be writing about in this post. Hope my words reach out to you.

Conversations are such a vital part of our lives. They become the very foundations of the bonds we form and nurture with people throughout our existence. Conversations happen based on mutual give and take. And more often than not, on our end we end up expecting to be 'taken' more than given. Consideration; actually being considered is a basic emotional requirement for us and the level to which it is fulfilled largely affects the orientation of our lives. 

How good does it feel when the feelings that we try to communicate can successfully reach the other person ! Most people would give the ability to communicate the credit here. But what's equally, or sometimes more important, is the ability to be communicated with. 

I read somewhere that we tend to listen not in order to listen but in order to react. This statement sadly stands to be true. Hearing is one of our five basic senses so we never have to learn to hear. But with that assumption I think we skip the lesson of listening as well. Most of the world is not a good listener because we haven't been taught how to listen.

The importance of listening is well understood when you have been listened to. Being a good listener is far more important than being a good talker. And its not just the words, its the actions and even the silence that needs to be listened to. Everyone on this planet is carrying their own baggage of thoughts and intervals are necessary to continue carrying this baggage. Being listened to becomes this interval. And 'listening' to someone isn't just about being their for them to unload their burden or being there shoulder to cry on. Its simply about being there, being the recipient. Even the most mediocre thoughts deserve to be acknowledged, that's what a good listener does.

There's this story my friend told me once : There was once an office filled with people who were always under tremendous stress. Amongst them, although not as stressed as the others, was a sweet old lady. Everyday, one would find someone or the other from the office staff go into her cabin; and when they returned, they seemed to be a lot more relaxed and cheerful. The boss found this amusing and went to the old lady one fine day, to quench his curiosity. He said to her, "Whenever I find someone come out of your cabin, they always seem stress-free. You seem to solve everybody's problems, what exactly do you say to them?" The old lady replied, "That's the thing. I don't say anything, I merely listen to them."

That's the thing about listening. Sometimes, when people tell you stuff, its not because they are seeking your opinion, or asking for help. Its just because they need an outlet. Their thoughts need to be voiced and received, not necessarily replied to.

Frankly, its not even that difficult a task. Being a good listener is about being able to keep our opinions and reactions aside and giving the talker the deserved importance. Its about being able to encourage the person in front to talk freely about the thoughts they have. When you really listen, your action is talking louder than any compassionate words you might have used that time to express your care.

Honestly, being a good listener is an important quality and has been undermined by most. People fail to realise the importance of listening.  I'm raising this concern in order to make people aware of this, because most of the time people have no clue about it. As an active over-thinker about the little things in life, I have experienced and realised the importance of listening. This is just my effort to reach out to the world. Hopefully, some are really 'listening'.

Thank you !

P.S : I love listening to people and if you have anything to say to me, you can get in touch via email. Feedback and suggestions are also most welcome. kher.aparna98@gmail.com

I'm a listener on both of the websites mentioned below. They are pretty neat and provide a platform for you to vent out if you are having trouble talking to your friends or family. You can also be a listener on these websites and be there for other people, trust me its satisfying. www.7cupsoftea.com www.blahtherapy.com